Melissa McMahon

March 19 2009

Journal on Dickinson- late

English 48 B

"I died for beauty- but was scarce

Adjusted in the tomb

When One who died for Truth was lain

In an adjoining Room-" (86)

It's amazing to me the way Dickinson captures her ideas, fears, and thoughts on mortality in her poetry- she makes something that is usually seen as morbid into art- she captures the subtle beauty behind a life lived and lost- and the images she conveys with this particular poem, "Until the moss had reached our lips- And covered up-Our names-" (86) We not only see but feel what Dickinson is trying to say- and it makes us quietly respect our own lives while pondering our mortality. Dickinson knew that life was a gift, but a fleeting one. Her obsessions with existence and its eventual ceasing prompted many of her best poems. It was a domain not many women had passed through, and Dickinson did so with grace, truthfulness, and honesty.

An online biography has a quote saying: "David Porter argues that her central theme is the striving for an end: That theme is not the abstraction death or immortality or love or fame, but rather the act of the mind in quest of all of these. For emotional longing, the ideal is love. For the poetic fancy, the ideal is literary achievement. For the spirit's aspiration, the ideal is immortality" This supports Dickinson's many poems about an "ending" of sorts- in love, in nature, but most importantly- in life. Dickinson may be using life as a metaphor- as a symbol that all things end, and she goes on to explore that with her writing. No doubt Dickinson was fascinated with the "ending" or "finality" of things...she had endings swirl all around her...lives, loves, homes, etc. Dickinson was almost protecting herself in a way- and by shutting herself up in her room, she was free to fully examine the beginning, and ending, of things.

I don't think Dickinson was very good with change, and I think, (as a good writer) she explored her weaknesses and fears, thus bringing life to some of the best literature out there. She was not afraid to pass over the areas she was frightened of. Most people would look the other way or fool themselves with happy little poems...Dickinson did exactly the opposite. Knowing that she feared death, loss, and change- she looked deeper in to it- and she knew she had done something remarkable by doing so. Her poetry was left for us to find, almost like a treasure map or a guide to help us all along. She knew the answers- she had explored them ahead of us, and was leaving her knowledge out there for our later use.

I think she knew that she would leave behind a legacy that will never fade. Her poetry was just courageous, just brilliant, just shocking enough that there was no way her words would stand to be silenced. It's almost as if she passed to the other side, and smiling down upon us discreetly, waited to see what we would do with her gift- her life.

The (mad woman?) In the Attic

Melissa McMahon

English 48 B

March 18 2009

"I'm "wife"-I've finished that-

That other state-

I'm Czar-I'm "Woman" now-

It's safer so." (81)

A woman, a myth, a legacy, a writer, a lover, an artist. Who was Emily Dickinson? Was she crazy and self confined-shutting herself out from a world she already felt absent from? Was grief the reason for the shroud placed around her? How could she give the world so much in the form of literature- but passed through her lifetime as a mystery? No matter the amount of questions that surround Dickinson, one cannot deny the pain, life, and spirit that she poured into her words. Even if she was not well known in life, she is well loved much after.

Early on in her life after witnessing the deaths of many of her friends, "she revealed to her friend Abiah Root the extent of her depression: "... some of my friends are gone, and some of my friends are sleeping – sleeping the churchyard sleep – the hour of evening is sad –" (Wikipedia) There is no doubt that these many losses shaped Dickinson's intrigue with the issue of mortality. As she sat at her window and watched countless funerals, something was growing inside of Dickinson, and she used it to write some of her many astounding poems. In that time, writing was considered a weakness, especially for women. It was not a women's place to write- it was a women's place to sew, have children, cook, and be pretty. Emily wanted none of these things, as so, shutting herself away she began to create a world for herself in the solace of her four walls- a world where no one could judge her and she was left to express herself freely.

I think it is safe to say that she was depressed- the power behind her poems speaks to her frustration with her position in life and all the loss she had seen. "I', "Wife"! Stop there!" (81) Emily wanted to be so much more that just a "wife", and when she implores her readers to "stop there!" she is showing how limiting and final a "wife" title was. No doubt her opinions were backed up as she watched the 'happy' marriage of her brother, Austin, to Susan Gilbert fade away as he pursued his affairs...Emily knew that a role of a wife was not enough and not as safe as she was taught to believe. Establishing her identity as a writer, Emily lived a daring lifestyle- even if it was only between her 4 personal walls.

I Am...

Melissa McMahon

March 12 2009

English 48 B

Journal on late Whitman

"I am the poet of the Body and I am the poet of the Soul, The pleasures of heaven are with me and the pains of hell are with me,...I am he that walks the tender and growling night. I call to the earth and sea half-held by night." (44-45)

While Whitman's poems were indeed stepped in sexuality, one influence of his that cannot be ignored is the very strong biblical presence in much of his material. When he capitalizes certain words, "the Body,...the poet of Soul," it brings to mind the 'mind, body, and soul' description of the 'father, son, and holy ghost.' By calling attention to these key words, Whitman is using symbolism from the bible to describe the love he is feeling when he is writing this poem. God is love, essentially, and Whitman embraces the idea of God in a very modern way- as an entity who loves and adores his "children," not one who is carrying a big stick and looking to punish us for our sins. The overwhelmingly fluid and lovely prose Whitman uses shows that above all else, he was a man of acceptance and joy- a man who delights in all aspects of the senses- and who finds all things, (sexual and non sexual) to be gifts to be savored and enjoyed.

With the section on the "29th bather," Whitman seems to be writing this from a sexual point of view. However, if you look closer, you see that it could be interpreted as a love song from God to his children- the ones he watches over with love and admiration. Sparknotes comments on this section, saying: "The lavish eroticism of this section reinforces this idea: sexual contact allows two people to become one yet not one--it offers a moment of transcendence." Transcendence is a very spiritual thing- and Whitman shows that sometimes the line between spirituality and sexuality can sometimes be blurred. Whitman was incredibly adept at showing many different interpretations on subjects that, during his time, were never questioned. One would never speak about sexuality being compared to anything in the spiritual sense...it simply was not done. Whitman broke down barriers with his poetic, free, language, and because of him, we see things we might not have seen for ourselves.

As a sort of tour guide through the sense, Whitman has us feel, taste, smell, and hear his poetry with a renewed appreciation. Going beyond the normal walls of literature, his work is ultimately an..experience. One that cannot be forgotten, and one that is renewed each and every time we join in on his "Song Of Myself."

Simply Whitman

Melissa McMahon

March 10 2009

Journal on Early Whitman

English 48 B

"My great thoughts as I supposed them, were they not in reality meagre? Nor is it you alone who know what it is to be evil, I am he who know what it is to be evil, I too knitted the old knot of contrariety." (23)

Whitman's hauntingly lyrical "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry" offers a humbling view on mortality and leaves us with the realization that we are not as unique as we sometimes believe. With simple words Whitman reminds us that he walked the same streets, he thought the same things, he dealt with 'anger,' 'lust', 'meanness', and 'laziness.' These downfalls of our flesh are not unique to our own walk through life. Whitman makes us understand that whatever fight we are fighting, whatever moments of darkness we pass through or bouts of joy we experience- we are not alone. Someone before us, (and after us) will experience those very same things.

Sparknotes.com calls "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry" a way for Whitman to reach through time and explore the common relationship man share that goes beyond time and space. They also say that: "Whitman wonders what he means (not as a poet but as another anonymous individual) to the crowds of strangers he sees every day. He assumes that they see the same things he does, and that they react in the same way, and that this brings them together in a very real sense." While I believe this is true, I also think Whitman wrote this as a way to shake us and declare that our lives are short and petty trials and tribulations are insignificant when viewed with a broader lens. Whitman was always looking through that lens- he slowed time with his words, he embraced eternity with his thoughts, and he never thought of himself as immortal- he recognized the beauty and frailty of life and educated those around him about it.

One thing about Whitman that makes him stand out from the rest of the authors we have read in this class is the very real and tangible passion he exudes with every written word. Reading his prose is indeed like listening to an opera...you feast upon his descriptions the way you take in the beauty of the stage- and when his words reach that swelling crescendo, you're filled with so many emotions that your body seems to take over and your heart is left throbbing in your chest.

There were two times I felt out of breath from the force behind Whitman's words...and as I read the sections over and over again- they seemed to take on an incredible significance that was if it was written for me alone. This was the beauty of Whitman- his ability to reach you where you stand-stretch his fingers out- and touch you in a place you yourself have forgotten.

Her Final Awakening

Melissa McMahon

English 48 B

Journal on late Chopin

"She remembered the night she swam far out, and recalled the terror that seized her at the fear of being unable to regain the shore. She did not look back now, but went on and on, thinking of the bluegrass meadow that she had traversed when a little child, believing that it had no beginning and no end." (625)

Chopin's Edna lets go in the end of "The Awakening," and as she sheds her clothes, she sheds her life as well, swimming towards the ocean, never looking behind, until it becomes too late, and she is gone. Was it suicide? Was this intentional? One wonders as they watch Edna give herself willingly to the waves, weighted down with her emotions and her many disappointments with life. I'd like to argue that Edna did this quite unthinkingly. When she shed her clothes and stepped into the water, she wasn't thinking that these were her last few moments alive. Instead, as she realizes that her strength is gone and she has no hope of turning back, she lets go- stops the every day fight, stops the thinking, the actions- and just...is.

Of course she realizes she is dying. Like in the "Owl Creek" story by Bierce, all of Edna's senses become quite acute as she exists in her final moments. She smells "musty pinks," and hears the sound of an old dog's chain on shore, clanking away. Her thoughts drift to her children, to Robert, to her life....and with her last final breaths she experiences her true "Awakening." In this moment, she chooses her path, her destiny, and she abandons all ideas and expectations of what is "right." Edna embraces herself, she claims herself, and then, just as beautifully, gives herself away.

Wikipedia examines these last moments with this quote: "Unable to resist the lure of the water, she strips nude and swims out as far as she can and, having exhausted herself, it seems, drowns. Most readers interpret this final passage as suicide - the final shedding of constraints foisted upon her by society." While I may not agree, I can see why one would think this way. This is why Chopin was a genius- she paints a story and urges us to be its interpreters. She never spells anything out for us, or holds our hand as we muddle our way through- instead, she allows us to hold up the microscope and pull what we can from her words. It makes her work an experience to be remembered...and enjoyed over and over again.

Awaken

Melissa McMahon

March 4 2009

Journal on Early Chopin

"I would give up the unessential; I would give up my money, I would give my life for my children; but I wouldn't give myself. I can't make it more clear; it's only something which I am beginning to comprehend, which is revealing itself to me." (571)

With these words from Edna Pontellier to her friend, Adele Ratignolle, we see the beginning transformation of Edna and her subtle realization that she is beginning to think, feel, and cherish herself. (Which was quite shocking for her time.) Shirking away from the "Ratignolle" way of life, Edna bucks the system- stands up to her husband, and does as she pleases. As she falls in love with Robert, her trusted companion, it is almost as if Robert represents freedom- and that is the very thing Edna craves and seeks ravenously.

As I did research on Chopin, I found her to be very much like the character of Edna- strong, opinionated, and yearning to break from her mold. With Chopin's short story, "The Storm," she writes in passionate detail about the affair between Calixta and Alcee, never mincing her words. She describes the act beautifully, but shockingly, (for the time) in depth. That level of description is absent from "The Awakening," even though Edna succumbs to an affair much like Calixta. The reason was because Chopin never tried to have "The Storm" published, only after her death did it see the light of day. Chopin felt limited like Edna- she wrote what was on her mind, but she did have to censor herself to make sure it was published and she could support her family. In truth, I find "The Storm," to be one of her better pieces- and for the very reason it was shunned- because it was unbridled. It was gorgeously free.

Chopin leads us on a path to discovery on the heels of her character Edna. We feel the very things that Edna struggles over, and we encourage her to find herself in the midst of her stifling circumstances. Madame Ratignolle was right when she told Robert that Edna was not "one of them," she wasn't- and that was what made her beautifully flawed and real. Many more woman nowadays can relate to the character of Edna- striving to find an identity outside of their families, housework, and roles. It amazes me how modern Chopin's ideas were- her work can be read and compared to our life now, just as much as it could back then. The issues never change- and I think she knew that. I think Chopin realized that as long as there were humans walking the earth, there would be humans looking for inner freedom, hoping to be awakened.

A biography on Kate Chopin states that: "Artists like Kate Chopin see the truth and help others to see it. Once people are able to recognize the truth, then they can create social reform movements and set out to correct wrongs and injustices." Her message is legendary, and her words transcend time. She was truly a gifted writer, woman, and fighter...one's whose voice wakes us up- and makes us see.